Dear Friends
I was in Fergusson College, Pune in Pre-Degree Science in 1968. I was happy for 2 reasons. I stood first in my Taluka at SSC exam and second, I got admission in the most famous, prestigious Fergusson College, and that too in F division. At that time F division was known for the division of meritorious students having scored distinction at SSC.
But my happiness faded away instantly once the classes started.
My balloon got burst. My knowledge, my mastery in english (high score in english at SSC) , my understanding level everything what I was proud of got shattered. I was from lower middle class family. I had my set of 2 dresses, very shabby as compared to other students who were relatively from higher middle class families or rich families. Secondly I realised that I was very very poor in conversational English. I was thinking in Marathi, composing statements in Marathi and translating the things into English. A long process. My English vocabulary was hardly of 50 words. Fergusson college professors were Pure Marathi People but they never spoke in Marathi in the class or outside. So my problem was how to understand the things in the class which were purely in high-level english. I score 97 out of 100 in Mathematics at SSC. But even in this subject I was a big zero at the start. I used to cry in my heart every single moment. Most of the teachers were coming in the college with suit, tie etc. So to meet them in person to tell this difficulty or to ask for their advice in english was next to impossible. First week was a terrible week for me. I never saw huge laboratories, nor I was used to handle the costly equipments. What would happen if something gets broken. All the time I was worried and worried. A totally helpless guy !
My inferiority Complex grew to Himalayan Height. I decided to change the college or quit. I opened out this subject of change of college to my Father. He ruled out this idea. In fact he was proud that he could provide me the best college. He did not listen to any of my difficulties. He gave ultimatum that either continue Fergusson College or quit the further education. He was having lot of expectations from me. I cried but in vain. I continued for one more week. But the problem aggravated further. I was a back bencher. No friend to help. No teacher to help. Not a single word of theory going into brain. Fear of laboratories. What to do. I was at the peak of nervous breakdown. No way to get rid of this situation.
I decide to quit the college. Got totally tires. I started walking from the college to Shivajinagar. I was literally crying. And a miracle happened. It was a turning Point.
Somebody was calling me by name. she was my Highschool Teacher, excellent teacher of Mathematics. Karamarkar Madam. She was staying at Pune and was returning from my School at Talegaon--Nutan Vidya Mandir. I stopped at once, to respond to her calling. I saw her. She came nearer and asked me in most sympathetic , 'Suresh, what happened to you? Why are you crying?'. This sympathy exploded the gate of tears. I started sobbing heavily. I could not speak a single word. She took me to a nearby cafe. (remember, at that time to go to cafe was not so common.) She gave me a glass of water and a cup of tea (I am not used to take tea at all till date). By then, I cooled down considerably. I narrated my problems and told her my decision of quitting the further education. She was surprised and taken aback.
She told, 'Suresh, I know what you are. You are really a brilliant student. You cant run away like this. Nothing is difficult. I will tell you how to cope up with these poblems. I will give you simple Marathi Books for Mathematics, Marathi-English Science Dictionary. If required I will teach you the subjects. Don't get disheartened. Everybody goes through this phase. You gain confidence.'
I told her about my inferiority complex and the reasons for it viz. money, language, incapability of purchasing books... n number of reasons. But she was firm. One by one she ruled out all these reasons. Her consoling / counselling words developed a ray of hope in my mind. She told in a simple statements, 'excel well in the terminal examination and see that flow of friends will start. Have regular study of each subject. Prepare your own notes. Gather confidence. You are intelligent.'
These words changed my life. She provided me the material that she assured. My self-study started. I did not see back then onwards. My terminal examination was cleared with distinction. My engish vocabulary increase to more than hundred of words. My english improved a lot, though not to the mark especially on conversational level. I got very good marks in Maths. Surprisingly I got few friends because of my good result. My confidence level geared up. My regularity was commendable. Understanding of all the subjects was superb and it gave me real pleasure of gaining knowledge. I felt no need to approach teachers or students for solving doubts. I was using my self-thinking process for the same or taking help of college library and Footpath
But my happiness faded away instantly once the classes started.
My balloon got burst. My knowledge, my mastery in english (high score in english at SSC) , my understanding level everything what I was proud of got shattered. I was from lower middle class family. I had my set of 2 dresses, very shabby as compared to other students who were relatively from higher middle class families or rich families. Secondly I realised that I was very very poor in conversational English. I was thinking in Marathi, composing statements in Marathi and translating the things into English. A long process. My English vocabulary was hardly of 50 words. Fergusson college professors were Pure Marathi People but they never spoke in Marathi in the class or outside. So my problem was how to understand the things in the class which were purely in high-level english. I score 97 out of 100 in Mathematics at SSC. But even in this subject I was a big zero at the start. I used to cry in my heart every single moment. Most of the teachers were coming in the college with suit, tie etc. So to meet them in person to tell this difficulty or to ask for their advice in english was next to impossible. First week was a terrible week for me. I never saw huge laboratories, nor I was used to handle the costly equipments. What would happen if something gets broken. All the time I was worried and worried. A totally helpless guy !
My inferiority Complex grew to Himalayan Height. I decided to change the college or quit. I opened out this subject of change of college to my Father. He ruled out this idea. In fact he was proud that he could provide me the best college. He did not listen to any of my difficulties. He gave ultimatum that either continue Fergusson College or quit the further education. He was having lot of expectations from me. I cried but in vain. I continued for one more week. But the problem aggravated further. I was a back bencher. No friend to help. No teacher to help. Not a single word of theory going into brain. Fear of laboratories. What to do. I was at the peak of nervous breakdown. No way to get rid of this situation.
I decide to quit the college. Got totally tires. I started walking from the college to Shivajinagar. I was literally crying. And a miracle happened. It was a turning Point.
Somebody was calling me by name. she was my Highschool Teacher, excellent teacher of Mathematics. Karamarkar Madam. She was staying at Pune and was returning from my School at Talegaon--Nutan Vidya Mandir. I stopped at once, to respond to her calling. I saw her. She came nearer and asked me in most sympathetic , 'Suresh, what happened to you? Why are you crying?'. This sympathy exploded the gate of tears. I started sobbing heavily. I could not speak a single word. She took me to a nearby cafe. (remember, at that time to go to cafe was not so common.) She gave me a glass of water and a cup of tea (I am not used to take tea at all till date). By then, I cooled down considerably. I narrated my problems and told her my decision of quitting the further education. She was surprised and taken aback.
She told, 'Suresh, I know what you are. You are really a brilliant student. You cant run away like this. Nothing is difficult. I will tell you how to cope up with these poblems. I will give you simple Marathi Books for Mathematics, Marathi-English Science Dictionary. If required I will teach you the subjects. Don't get disheartened. Everybody goes through this phase. You gain confidence.'
I told her about my inferiority complex and the reasons for it viz. money, language, incapability of purchasing books... n number of reasons. But she was firm. One by one she ruled out all these reasons. Her consoling / counselling words developed a ray of hope in my mind. She told in a simple statements, 'excel well in the terminal examination and see that flow of friends will start. Have regular study of each subject. Prepare your own notes. Gather confidence. You are intelligent.'
These words changed my life. She provided me the material that she assured. My self-study started. I did not see back then onwards. My terminal examination was cleared with distinction. My engish vocabulary increase to more than hundred of words. My english improved a lot, though not to the mark especially on conversational level. I got very good marks in Maths. Surprisingly I got few friends because of my good result. My confidence level geared up. My regularity was commendable. Understanding of all the subjects was superb and it gave me real pleasure of gaining knowledge. I felt no need to approach teachers or students for solving doubts. I was using my self-thinking process for the same or taking help of college library and Footpath
scrap-books library. I got the examination technique improved. I started getting hunch of would be questions in the examinations. I started clearing the doubts of falling-behind friends. I started liking lending helping hand to the friends.
I completed 2 years in Fergusson and 4 years of COE, Pune with First Class/Distinction marks. Last 33 years I am serving this pious Institute ! All the credit goes to my Respected Madam, Karamarkar Madam. I cant imagine what would have been my fate if she had not met me at that moment of time, at that juncture of my life. A Teacher can do wonder. She did it. My grateful Pranam to her and hence an Ideal Teacher. I am in this field because of her timely help. A self-less help. Out of gratitude I am trying to walk on the path she has shown 41 years back.
SNN
5-9-2009, Teachers' Day
I completed 2 years in Fergusson and 4 years of COE, Pune with First Class/Distinction marks. Last 33 years I am serving this pious Institute ! All the credit goes to my Respected Madam, Karamarkar Madam. I cant imagine what would have been my fate if she had not met me at that moment of time, at that juncture of my life. A Teacher can do wonder. She did it. My grateful Pranam to her and hence an Ideal Teacher. I am in this field because of her timely help. A self-less help. Out of gratitude I am trying to walk on the path she has shown 41 years back.
SNN
5-9-2009, Teachers' Day
