Are people really self-centered and non-communicative?
What is your opinion?
Dear Friends
Everywhere we hear that now-a-days people are thinking of themselves. They are busy for 24 hours in their own world. They are not bothered about anything which is outside the bounds of their world. Let there be any catastrophe outside. They are shock-proof. Are they like three monkeys of Mahatma Gandhi? Nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to talk.
Let us see our experience. When any two unknown persons come together for any reason, say for example market, bus stop, train travel, plane, conference, it takes ample time to talk to each other. What is the problem? Ego? Lack of Initiative? Fear? Self-pride? Self-contentment? What forbids them to come out of the shell?
My daughter stays in UK after her marriage. She stays with Nilesh (her husband) in an apartment. After 8-9 months she doesn't know anything about the neighbors. When asked she told that in UK, privacy is preserved with priority and legal action can be taken if the privacy is disturbed. Even one has to take appointment of a friend to visit his place. There is a similar situation in the towers and flat-culture in our country as well. Few years back in my society, I remember that a case of suicide was revealed to others two days afterwards. To share the happiness or grief is a rarely seen incidence now-a-days. To appreciate a thing in public is a matter of history. To write a letter to relatives or friends or to a congratulation letter to the deserving person is a remote-chance of a thing. I have seen a society where people will go to the office very early than usual and come late in the night if they see any problem with the neighbor/s. No communication, no urge for it. A travel of hours and days will be passed without exchanging a single word. Everywhere there are many many independent isolated worlds with rigid boundaries difficult to pierce through.
My observation may be weak or limited. What is your feel?
Assuming, without accepting, this postulate, let us see a different picture now.
If people prefer no open communication, why do they resort to e-mail writing and chatting? Why they become restless if they don't receive the mobile call or e-mail from anybody? Why they keep their cell 24 hours with them, even at the time of their quite sleep?
Why people prefer writing blogs? So many topics, so many case studies, so many mind-blowing articles, so much thoughtful literature. Why do they want to share their thoughts with the entire world? Why do they eagerly visit their blog for the comments given for their write-up? Why so many smses? Are they choosy in their communication destinations and tools? Why the young generation is rebellious about no-communication tradition of the elders? I have read many of the excellent articles on the blogs of youngsters. Really excellent literature. Profound experience! Heartbreaking experiences. Thrilling case-studies? Why do they write? What is the purpose? What for they are thinking and writing? For what and whose benefit?
Some persons go ahead with a website of their own. My son is a computer savvy person employed in NSE. He is reluctant to read the literature. But the mail and chat writing is accounted for, it will turn into thousands of pages. And nothing of it is discarded. Many times it is either sharing the experiences or giving advises, giving solutions over somebody's problems, counseling to his PG students and so on. He has hundreds of his friends in touch with him. This is the Representative story for many other youngsters.
Then my first observation is right or second ? I am totally confused.
And a series of questions at this juncture is appearing in my mind. Why I should write this to you all and pass on my confusion to everybody. Do the world have time for reading and then thinking on it? What will happen to me if they don't send their comments? Whether I will discontinue to write? or will continue to write with stubborn attitude. Recently I read a news that PM is in touch with lakhs of people through his blog? Why so? Does he in search of something which he could not get even after becoming PM, the topmost position of the Country?
Why don't you oblige me by helping me to overcome from this dilemma? A sugarcoated request?
SNN
12-09-09
Let us see our experience. When any two unknown persons come together for any reason, say for example market, bus stop, train travel, plane, conference, it takes ample time to talk to each other. What is the problem? Ego? Lack of Initiative? Fear? Self-pride? Self-contentment? What forbids them to come out of the shell?
My daughter stays in UK after her marriage. She stays with Nilesh (her husband) in an apartment. After 8-9 months she doesn't know anything about the neighbors. When asked she told that in UK, privacy is preserved with priority and legal action can be taken if the privacy is disturbed. Even one has to take appointment of a friend to visit his place. There is a similar situation in the towers and flat-culture in our country as well. Few years back in my society, I remember that a case of suicide was revealed to others two days afterwards. To share the happiness or grief is a rarely seen incidence now-a-days. To appreciate a thing in public is a matter of history. To write a letter to relatives or friends or to a congratulation letter to the deserving person is a remote-chance of a thing. I have seen a society where people will go to the office very early than usual and come late in the night if they see any problem with the neighbor/s. No communication, no urge for it. A travel of hours and days will be passed without exchanging a single word. Everywhere there are many many independent isolated worlds with rigid boundaries difficult to pierce through.
My observation may be weak or limited. What is your feel?
Assuming, without accepting, this postulate, let us see a different picture now.
If people prefer no open communication, why do they resort to e-mail writing and chatting? Why they become restless if they don't receive the mobile call or e-mail from anybody? Why they keep their cell 24 hours with them, even at the time of their quite sleep?
Why people prefer writing blogs? So many topics, so many case studies, so many mind-blowing articles, so much thoughtful literature. Why do they want to share their thoughts with the entire world? Why do they eagerly visit their blog for the comments given for their write-up? Why so many smses? Are they choosy in their communication destinations and tools? Why the young generation is rebellious about no-communication tradition of the elders? I have read many of the excellent articles on the blogs of youngsters. Really excellent literature. Profound experience! Heartbreaking experiences. Thrilling case-studies? Why do they write? What is the purpose? What for they are thinking and writing? For what and whose benefit?
Some persons go ahead with a website of their own. My son is a computer savvy person employed in NSE. He is reluctant to read the literature. But the mail and chat writing is accounted for, it will turn into thousands of pages. And nothing of it is discarded. Many times it is either sharing the experiences or giving advises, giving solutions over somebody's problems, counseling to his PG students and so on. He has hundreds of his friends in touch with him. This is the Representative story for many other youngsters.
Then my first observation is right or second ? I am totally confused.
And a series of questions at this juncture is appearing in my mind. Why I should write this to you all and pass on my confusion to everybody. Do the world have time for reading and then thinking on it? What will happen to me if they don't send their comments? Whether I will discontinue to write? or will continue to write with stubborn attitude. Recently I read a news that PM is in touch with lakhs of people through his blog? Why so? Does he in search of something which he could not get even after becoming PM, the topmost position of the Country?
Why don't you oblige me by helping me to overcome from this dilemma? A sugarcoated request?
SNN
12-09-09
I totally a wrong person to comment on this! I am the one who likes to live in nutshell...I would like to justify my stand, stating that it is the personality type. People who like to mix and mingle go out to find out social groups with similar interest. Youngsters especially choose a group with whom they can freely communicate. We do not have any specific fear of talking to elders... we like to share our thoughts with those who can understand us.
ReplyDeleteInspite of living in USA, my experience with neighbours is different. May be because most of my neighbours are international students; Pakistani family, Turkish girl, Chinese girl.
My ex-roomate was Chinese and current one is Indonesian. It is really nice experience to known their culture and share mine with them. But I have not yet found any close/ good American friend.
Do continue writing blogs, readers might be someone who don't even know you but will gain something from your thoughts. The media and outreach have changed.
Dear sir,
ReplyDeleteI think, your observation is neither weak nor limited. It is a macro observation. This is how life has become nowadays.
What i find about the two situations (mentioned by u)is that they both deal with different forms of communication. First is more of oral communication & the second is about written communication (e-mails, sms, blogs...). So it depends upon which one i feel comfortable to express my feelings.
If I'm passionate about sports and want to discuss my views, am not sure if the other person (whom i met at market, conference etc) is equally interested in the discussion. So this conversation never starts may be because of fear, pride and all the reasons mentioned by you.
But, when i choose to express my views through mail, blog etc then it is upto the reader to chose to read or to avoid. But once i get a like minded reader to discuss my ideas may be this will lead to start of a new friendship/relationship.
So this completes the cycle! Earlier we used to connect to friends through sms, e-mails, scraps etc... now we write mails & blogs and make new friends through them.
Also, a wild thought says me that this (strange behavior) might have something to do with Einstien's theory of relativity. If i can't read a book but can read an equal content online then may be my level of comfort is more with the online medium.
So, I guess both your observations are right. yes! they co-exist. I don't think you are passing on your confusion. I think you have chosen to pen it down and we, the readers have chosen to discuss your observations. There might be X no. of readers of this post but the responses might be less than X.
As far as PM is concerned (or any other celebrity..there are quite a few film stars, cricketers writing blogs), there reason might be to reach out to a different generation through this different medium of communication!
Dear Sir,
ReplyDeleteIt is true that many people esp youngsters maintain a blog. In at least 75% of the cases what they write is very shallow, very few people write anything of substance. This again one more facet of the "me too" culture. One can see that apart from their friends no one else visits their blog, they in turn visit their friends' blog and comment( a 'RAT RACE' EVEN HERE!): A classic example of " You scratch my back and I yours." Same thing for the social networking sites- post on the friends' walls, poke, scrap etc- the more friends in your friends list, the more 'cooler' you are!
But one thing is sure: internet has a wider reach. Also, no one knows you personally on the net. This is like a liberation for many people, who can come out of their closet. One more thing is that very few people have radically different ideas and ideals than the crowd. When they try to share it with others, they find very few takers for their views. Remember, that a majority are always resistant to 'CHANGE. If one is not a part of the crowd, one is either forced to conform, or one is isolated.
In this case, blogging seems to be the only way out for such people to voice their views. Because, there is a chance that you can reach out to like-minded people, share ideas, etc. So, though they may not be popular among their peers, their work (or their writings, in this case) speaks for them. After all, it is preferred that one be known for their talent or by what they do (or don't!) than by the number of 'friends' they make.
And work speaks volumes. If the content is good, there will be many takers for it. As is seen in your son's case.
As for face-to-face communication, aren't we ourselves responsible for it? Two strangers on a train, share food, only; one them has mixed sleeping pills in it. The other wakes up to find that all his belongings gone! Won't such incidents gradually make us more cautious?
One more thing that you have said that is youngsters today are apathetic. That's true. I can only say that we can't do anything to change the 'hardwired programme' of people. They themslves must 'BE THE CHANGE' and that can come only through introspection. Only, many people (as I have stated in one of my earlier comments) are afraid to face themselves, because they know the skeletons in their cupboard. I can just say that all youngsters are not like that, some really want to make a difference to the world.
- A Student Forever
P.S.: Your layout is very reader friendly now and the picture at the top is very beautiful.
Dear Anon
ReplyDeleteYou are very self-reliant, self-thinking student. I always like your free but studied thoughts. Deep and wide thinking are the attributes of your nature. May I get your details?
SNN
Sir,
ReplyDeleteBrilliant blog sir, first of all.
I would like to say that, in this case even the best psychiatrist in the world would just grin at this blog and say "human nature!!" and be done with it. Keeping in mind of course that people of this world are extremely wierd. The youngsters today want to be recognized as individuals even though it is shmeful for me to say that they do not pride themselves on the individual qualities they possess. They want to be loved but only by the people they want and not by others. Smothering and indifference to others are two causes for most fights in the world in my opinion. They want to be given space and want to work in an environment of their choice.
Now judging by my assumption(i'm not saying its right so correct me if i'm wrong) people who ge too much love want less of it and people subjected to indifference want more of it. People often misinterpret this as wanting what we can't have. But this is my analysis and only my own.
By the way the answer to your question is both are right in their own wierd specific way. The world is wonderfully and beautifully wierd working with carnot efficiency. Any friction among people and efficiency goes down!
Hi sir,
ReplyDeleteWhat you have written is very true.
Sadly we live in a world today where 'good is bad' and 'bad is good'. In the sense that the youngsters today no longer find it 'cool' to be nice to people and speak to them without any motive. Yes, it is a very selfish world. But can the youth be blamed for this? With the increasing need to 'prove your worth' be it by scoring well, earning well, etc. one does not stop and think about what they are doing.
It is interesting that you have mentioned UK and how people there are. Our country was an altogether different place as few as 10 years ago. But with the advent of tv in a big way and westernization of our youth, (both physically and mentally) the western culture of living in your own shell has spread here as well.
All we can do is hope that this selfishness does not affect the growth of mankind as a unit.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletefirst thing is that what i am writteing is gonna be total irrelevent. i dont know how to judge anything, basically i feel its absurd. though somebosy like Jesus might have said that Do not judge ye not to be judged; Its coming from my experience and not because any jesus is saying that.yes life is flux.
ReplyDeleteIts hard to seek reality. i know it always evades.(i dont bother its escaping, i go on seeking)& really what i found is that i can't find it in words.( they/words are always containers, content will always be different)
or in other words somebody(dont know whether Aristotle/Plato) has said Letters/words are dead. & i know he probably mean it.
This existance is very delicate basically. even if one says 'i love you' the feeling has gone by very thought. In fact its has replaced feeling.and what we are communicating is just memory of love.if you are in reality you can not say about it.and if you say so you are out of it. Isn't it?
So finally we have to make choice whether to play with words or be in reality( which seems almost impossible to live in)
. what i mean 'to play' is literally playing, indifferent about outcome.Real play. and other around him become his mates.
here there is no space for confusion at all.
its Hakunamatata. it means no worries, its all problem free philosophy.
it sounds dream ( whatever 'irrevelent' i have expressed here )to most who are not seekers of reality.its basically what i felt travelling across different places and people. Most brave ones are cowards. they like gross.Subtle things cant penetrate them.They talk of courage, dignity n all but cant see beauty of recently blossomed flower by roadside.they are always thinking about other to change but themselves are not open enough to let in Truth, beauty. which is just besides them. in small small things. thats why jesus seems mad to any logician how can those poor lilies be more beautiful/ glamorous than King solomen's whole kingdom.
All i have written is fragments. sorry for being lazy enough to reconsider/ edit where mistakes in Syntax or of any form are present.
take care sir.
(its needless to mention but still,i am always grateful to you and you know all, even my tears cant absolve me of your debt.in fact i want to be in it/ debt.its beautiful. yes "even crying" for being in such debt.)